White Noise

Confessions of a Human Brain

My experiments with police station – I

Posted by Joe on September 30, 2007

I was in onsite at that time. If you are from IT industry, or if you have any of your friends who are in IT industry, you might know the meaning of the term onsite. For those of you who don’t know its meaning, it represents that you are working for your client in client’s location. In IT industry, guys will be dying for the onsite opportunity as it is one of the opportunities where you can earn a lot of money.

For me, there was only one problem with this settlement. My client is Indian, which means, I will be paid in Indian rupees, which again mean that I cant have dollar dreams, which again mean that my onsite is virtually useless.

But my onsite had one advantage. Our client was based in Trivandrum, which meant that I will have to stay in God’s own country. Believe me; Kerala has got the India’s most beautiful location and locals. So I had no problems when my tenure in Trivandrum was increased from 1 month to 1 year and 1 month. And only because of that extension, I was able to write this story.

Ok.. after a lot of initial preface, we are into the story. There, we started the culture of giving treat to the whole team when something happened in our life. This was of course started by me as I calculated that I can get more treats than the number of treats which I will have to give.

Following this rule, one of our hapless teammate had his birthday and he took us all to treat in one of the best hotel in Trivandrum. The food was as usual excellent with its native Kerala taste. Happy with the party, I decided to thank my teammate. And I thanked him with the ritual bumps.

But I did three things wrong. First thing is that I gave bumps to him in the side of an almost deserted state highway. And the second thing is that a police patrol car, by coincidence was passing through that state highway at that time and saw me beating up my teammate and the third thing is that I had a French beard.

The police patrol, consisting of a driver and a sub inspector, being responsible to their job, came near us and started enquiring what is going on. There were a few Malayalees in our team and these guys were explaining that we were just friends and no fight is going on and that we mean no harm.

The driver was doing most of the talking and he was explaining us about their responsibility and how they will feel when they see a person beating another one in a state highway and how things can go wrong. I and some of my Malayalam team mates were hearing this and we were doing almost nothing other than nodding our heads.

Then the real trouble started. The sub inspector, jealous of the presentation given by the constable, wanted to speak. The big problem was that, there was no Malayalee present near him. One of my teammate (He is our hero not the birthday boy) was standing next to him and he picked this person to give his sermon. The sub inspector, he himself being a Malayalee, started speaking in Malayalam. But our hero is a Tamilian and he can’t understand a single word of Malayalam. As the sub inspector kept on giving his sermon, our hero wanted to actively participate in the discussion told him that he is not a Malayalee and requested him to speak in English.

But the sub inspector kept on giving his speech in Malayalam. Our hero should have taken this cue and he should have kept his mouth shut. But he was too much pumped up that he wanted to contribute in the conversation and insisted him on speaking in English. Our sub inspector having not spoken a single word in English in the past 3 years, 8 months and 12 days other than Hello was irritated with our hero’s continuous pestering. So he uttered the only English word which he is confident in.



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